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stressed

Still looking for happy Addie....
I'm in need of happy Addison and Derek and so I'm continuing to repost my own story. How sad is that??

Cracks and Foundations

Disclaimer: I really still don't own them.

Chapter 11



Derek Shepherd sat in the lobby of Seattle Grace, his left hand carrying the last of the dozen peach roses he had bought for his wife early that morning. He tapped his right hand against his knee, as he waited impatiently for Addison to arrive.

So much for 5 p.m. They would be lucky to be on the road by 7:30, but thankfully still in enough time to make the last ferry of the night.

This wasn't just any night during which Derek was waiting for his wife to get off work. Tonight was special. It was the first time he would see Addison since his conversation with his brother Jack had forced him to face the reality that he might lose her again if he did not re-commit himself to his marriage with his whole heart.

The end of his brother’s marriage, destoyed by the same tendency to place work over what was most important in life that had instigated the problems in his own, was just the most recent in a series of events that had forced Derek Shepherd to take a good hard look at his life and his marriage.

Once he got past the surface – the reflexive notion that Addison cheated first – he realized he didn’t like what he found. He was proud neither of his actions, nor of his refusal to take responsibility for them.

But that was all going to change.

So now, as he waited for his wife to finish up with her patients and join him in the lobby, Derek was nervous.

What if his epiphany had come too late?

What if Addison was tired of fighting for him?

Tired of compromising.

Tired of living in a trailer.

Tired of dealing with his absence.

His inattentiveness.

His flirtation with another woman.

Derek Shepherd stood up and paced.

Today, he had planned a series of surprises for Addison, to try to tell her with actions that he was sorry, that he chose her, that he wanted their future . . . together. Today had been about new beginnings, about a new commitment to reclaim their love and their marriage and to make it even better than before.

But what if he was too late?

As Derek paced, and watched, and worried, the bell for the elevator suddenly sounded. And though he knew it was only in his own head, to Derek, the elevator sounded louder than usual, as if it was warning Derek that he might be too late.

Instinctively he knew -- though there was no way he could -- that Addie was on that elevator car.

And, as he watched, the doors opened and Addison stepped off, a box filled with his presents in her hands, her briefcase hanging off one shoulder. As usual, she looked totally and completely together. No one would ever guess that she had been at the hospital since 3 a.m. that morning, a work day of almost 17 hours.

She looked at him, and he felt the nervousness grow.

And then she smiled, and he knew that he wasn't too late.

It was a smile that was a little bit nervous, a little bit fearful, but it had the power to radiate other emotions well. Love. Happiness. Anticipation.

"Hey stranger," Addie greeted him with a kiss. It was just a soft kiss, a small kiss, and it allowed her to shift the box to him. "This has been the most amazing day. I love every single thing about today. I don't know how to thank you enough."

Addison smirked, in a way that sent his pulse racing and put less than pure thoughts in his head.

"Although I might have a few ideas."

"It's not over yet," Derek promised. "Today is just a beginning."

Addison smiled, and he smiled back. Derek tried to remember the last time they had just smiled at each other, both on the same page for just a moment. For that moment it was just the two of them, in their own world, the bustle of the hospital lobby having faded away.

Derek noticed that Addie was wearing both the necklace that he had bought her in Denver and the charm bracelet with medical instruments.

And he noticed that despite the fact that she was happy to see him, that the long day and her exhaustion – and her nerves – showed just a little bit around the edges of her perfect facade.

"Shall we?"

"We shall," Addison responded. "But are you going to give me a hint about what we are doing with this four luxurious days of time off?"

"Wouldn't that ruin the surprise?"

"Well, you've already surprised me plenty today. And aren't you at least going to let me pack a bag?"

Derek shook his head. "All of those pesky details have been taken care of. . . . You just have to let me whisk you away."

"Well, then, whisk away, kind sir."

Before she knew it, Addison had indeed been whisked.

Derek had driven them both to the main ferry terminal, unloaded luggage from the back of the SUV, let Addie stash a few extra things from her briefcase and box of presents in one of the suitcases, and picked up their tickets. They were now among the few passengers that Thursday evening on the last passenger ferry of the night bound for Victoria, British Columbia.

Addie had never been to Victoria before and she was looking forward to it, but more important than their destination was the company.

For the first time in a long time, she felt like she had her Derek with her.

He came back from checking their luggage with a sweater for her, because he thought she might be cold on the open water as the night cooled down. He was also carrying a brown paper bag.

"Thanks," Addie said, touched by the thoughtfulness. "Derek. . . ." She let the thought trail off, because she wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to say. "Thank you again for today. I cannot tell you how much every single surprise means to me."

"Addison," Derek reached out and brushed some of her beautiful hair off her face. "I realize that today is just, as I said before, a beginning. I wanted to remind you of the way our lives together can be, of the way that we can be. . . ."

"And I know that we still have a lot of things to talk about, a lot of serious conversations to have, to rebuild the trust and the confidence that we always had in one another," he continued. "I know that you’ve tried to have some of those conversations before, and maybe I wasn’t quite ready, but I am now. . . . Maybe the time away will give us the opportunity to work through some of those things without the distractions of the hospital and other people. . . .”

“But, regardless, I wanted to make absolutely clear to you that I choose you. . . . No, I choose us. . . . And I wanted to make you smile.”

Addison put her hand over his, caressing it, feeling him there with her. She leaned forward and placed another soft kiss on his mouth, and whispered, “You did.”

Derek kissed her back, the kiss turning more passionate as each sought to show the other their gratitude for and commitment to this second chance. After a couple of minutes, Addie pulled back just far enough to cast a glance at the paper bag Derek had put down so he could focus more completely on her.

“So, what do you have there, Dr. Shepherd?”

Derek grinned, and pulled away to grab the bag.

“Well, Dr. Shepherd, what good is a romantic ferry ride together without a picnic supper to make it complete?”

Derek pulled out a blanket, which he and Addie spread out on the deck. After they settled down together on the blanket, Derek pulled out a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, and two plastic cups, as well as an array of cheese and crackers, a bag of grapes, and a bag of to-die-for chocolate chip cookies.

When Addie saw the cookies, she recognized their origin instantly and made a grab for the bag.

“So how exactly did you convince my mother to bake for this fine occasion?”

“I told you, Addie, I wasn’t pulling any punches today. I wanted to make sure you knew that I was willing to use every weapon in my arsenal to impress upon you the seriousness with which I take this day of presents ‘just because’ I love you.”

Addison heard the words coming from his mouth and started to cry.

“You mean it?” she questioned, using one hand to wipe away the tears.

“I mean it,” Derek brushed away another tear with his thumb. He leaned forward and looked her in the eyes before he repeated softly, “I love you, Addison.”

“That’s the first time you’ve said it. . . .” Her voice trailed off for a minute. “I love you, too, Derek. So much. And I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry that I forgot to tell you and show you how much you mean to me, Addie. You are the love of my life, my everything. We’ll work everything else out, but you have to believe that I love you.”

They kissed one more time, before Derek repeated, “I love you, Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. I don’t ever want you to doubt that ever again.”



Chapter 12



“Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re almost there.”

The words, softly spoken by Derek Shepherd, combined with a caress and a kiss to slowly penetrate Addison’s consciousness.

“I don’t want to,” she whispered, shaking her head for emphasis. “I was having the most amazing dream.”

Derek smiled and held her closer, relishing having her back in his arms where she fit so well. Their picnic on the deck of the ferryboat had been relaxed, with an unspoken agreement to save their difficult issues for later when they were both well rested.

Tonight was for enjoying each other’s company, and their renewed commitment to each other.

As they ate, Addie had filled him in on the hospital gossip, including a couple of funny stories involving Bailey and her interns and another about one of her own patients. And he had relayed some of the events of the conference in Denver, both medical news and gossip from old friends he had run into there. He mentioned that Lizzie Corday – an old friend of Addie’s as well as Derek’s – had recommended both the barbecue joint where he and Jack ate, as well as the store where he picked up the red rock necklace for Addison.

After they were done eating, they looked at the sunset and then the stars, the Shepherds sitting close together on the blanket. The swaying of the ferry, the wine, and her comfortable position laying back against her husband with his arm securely around her waist combined with the long work day and the relief she felt about Derek’s commitment to the future of their marriage to lull Addison to sleep.

Derek had sat there, his wife comfortably in his arms for the first time in so long that he could not remember the last time.

He thought that said everything about where they had been as a couple.

He was more than content to sit there, holding his wife, taking in the smell of her hair, looking forward to their weekend away together.

Nevertheless, as his wife slept, Derek could not help but think about the unresolved issues that still lay between them. Tonight – even more than when he had first asked her to stay in Seattle or when they had moved back in together – they were committed to working things out.

However, that wasn’t going to be easy, or without its emotional trauma. There were things that simply had to be gotten out in the open, baggage that must be unpacked for them to rebuild their marriage and their life together.

Only by addressing their issues would the Shepherds be able to get past them.

Derek knew, as much as he dreaded it, that they needed to talk about their respective affairs with Mark and Meredith. They needed to talk about what had preceded those relationships, about why they had fallen apart in New York. And they needed to talk about what they wanted for the future – for their future together. It need not all be discussed in one weekend, but they needed to make a start.

But for now, for tonight, Derek pulled his attention back to the gorgeous redhead resting in his arms. And, as the Victoria coastline neared, he began to caress her and whisper endearments in a manner designed to gently wake her from slumber. After all, it had only taken a kiss to waken a Sleeping Beauty.

When Addie spoke, Derek could not help but ask about her “amazing dream.”

Addison opened her eyes and shifted so she could see Derek’s piercing blue eyes.

“I was dreaming that I was married to the most amazing man. . . . He spent the whole day surprising me with flowers and notes and gifts. . . . Then, he told me that he loves me.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Derek replied, taking the opportunity to kiss her again softly. “But that wasn’t a dream. . . . And I do love you.”

“I love you, too, Derek.” Addie responded, thankful to finally be hearing those words again and certain that she could never hear them enough.

The couple got up, folded the blanket, and took the opportunity to spend a few more moments in each other’s arms as the ferry pulled into the dock.

Then, after reclaiming their luggage, they made their way through the border checkpoint, and Derek hailed a cab to take them to Dashwood Manor, the bed and breakfast where they had reservations. The place was a recommendation of Miranda Bailey’s, and she had assured Derek that it was as romantic as they come.

Their hosts checked them in with a smile, and pointed out all the salient features of the inn. The Shepherds scheduled the latest possible breakfast time, realizing that they would want to sleep in, as they both were a bit sleep deprived. Then their hosts led them to the Somerset room.

Addison nearly squealed when she entered it.

The room itself was almost the same size as the trailer. On the top floor of the old mansion that had been converted into the B&B, the room had vaulted ceilings and a private balcony. Addison and Derek stepped out on the balcony, but the darkness of the night disguised the ocean view, allowing them to see only shadows.

Then, Addie checked out the bathroom and realized there was a Jacuzzi tub. She was thankful she had tucked a small portion of the bubble bath package into her luggage.

“You realize that you’re going to have a hard time convincing me to leave this place, right?” Addie questioned her husband with a grin.

Derek crossed to her, and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly against him. “I’ll have to think of some incentive to lure you back to Seattle. . . . In the meantime, hand it over.”

“Hand what over?” Addie was confused.

“Your pager. . . . This is a pager-free weekend.”

“What if there’s some emergency and we’re needed?”

“We’re three hours away by boat. It’s unlikely anyone will need us that badly, and we have very competent back-ups keeping an eye on our patients. . . . There are two people who I have given the privileged information of how to reach us in case of a real, genuine, unavoidable emergency. Otherwise, this is a patient-free, pager-free weekend. So hand it over.”

Addie crossed to where she had dropped her purse on the bed, and removed the pager, handing it over to Derek.

“You do realize me giving you my pager is a little bit like letting the fox guard the henhouse?” she asked, making Derek laugh and nod. He couldn’t deny that he was equally, if not more, guilty of letting work interfere with life. But not this weekend, as he turned both of their pagers off and stored them in a pocket in the back of his suitcase.

As Derek secured the pagers, another question occurred to Addie: “By the way, who’s taking care of Doc?”

“Bailey . . . . She said something about them considering getting a dog themselves, so this is supposed to be like a dry run. . . . By the way, she also recommended this place.”

Addison nodded and smiled. She had known that Bailey was one of Derek’s numerous accomplices in the day’s events. She cast a glance at her husband, “Why don’t you use the bathroom first, get ready for bed, and then let me have it? That’ll give me a chance to unpack.”

As Derek took her up on her offer, Addie turned to her luggage, only slightly apprehensive.

There was always a danger in letting a man – even her man – do the packing, and she was a little nervous about her clothing options for the weekend. But, as she unpacked, she discovered that Derek had done pretty well, including an array of everything from jeans to a classic little black dress, one that she had yet to wear. She had an array of underwear and sleep wear as well. And, unlike the first time he had tried to surprise her with a weekend away, he had even packed shoes.

What Derek didn’t know yet was that she had a surprise of her own that she had tucked into the suitcase when he wasn’t looking.

When Derek exited the bathroom in his T-shirt and boxers, Addie took her toiletries and other necessities inside. It was too late for a bubble bath tonight, though she fully planned to indulge later in the weekend.

Meanwhile, she had other activities in mind for before they fell asleep. Just about 10 minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom.

She was gratified to see her husband’s reaction.

“Wow.” Derek was almost but not quite speechless, and she twirled slowly to give him a full 360-degree view of the sheer green negligee she had thankfully bought via mail order.

When she had purchased the sexy number, she had done so just because she thought it would be flattering and cheer her up by making her feel good about herself. But after a day like today, she didn’t need it for that reason.

It was, however, an excellent thank you present for her husband, if she did say so herself.

“I definitely don’t remember packing that,” Derek said, when he finally found his tongue again. “Maybe you should come closer, so I can examine it more thoroughly.”

Addie raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want to play doctor, Doctor?” she queried, grinning wickedly as she approached the bed where Derek lay reclining.

“I would love to play doctor, Doctor. . . . I understand you’re quite skilled.”